Collaborative Coaching
I often get asked what it’s like to be a storytelling coach and what that means exactly. It’s hard to describe, honestly, because every client is different and unique in what they’re seeking. But the more I think about that question, the more I feel like explaining it as a collaborative approach.
When I first start working with a storytelling client, the first thing I’m interested in learning is why they’re writing what they’re writing. I’m convinced that the “why” is the most important element to any endeavor. I want my clients to see the powerful purpose that is driving them to want to write a novel in the first place. And it helps me to understand how I can best support them in the process. And because every “why” is different, that means my approach to helping them sort through the process is also different.
Unlike an editor, I’m less concerned with the outcome or the novel as a whole. That isn’t the role I play in these coaching relationships. What I’m concerned with is how the client is relating to their writing and how it’s helping them to grow as a person and as a writer. I come at this from a place of being trauma-informed first and foremost, but also a writer who uses fiction as a way to heal rather than writing fiction to be read.
That’s why the clients who come to me are not your typical writers looking for structural or cohesive help… they’re coming to me to get at the heart of the story. And at the heart of every story are three central elements:
The why
The who
The what
Keeping those three elements in mind, I help my clients to see what their story needs from them as well as what they need the story to do for them. I don’t give my clients characters, I help them discover who their characters actually are. I don’t tell my clients they must adhere to a three-act structure or any plotting device because I teach them that their story will help them see where they need to go next. I don’t line or copy edit for them because well, that’s really not the purpose of writing their story.
Collaborative coaching is a lot of curious questioning, really. I don’t give my clients the answers to the questions they seek — I help them find it for themselves. They already have all the wisdom and power inside of them, they just need a little nudge to find it. That doesn’t mean that my questions aren’t hard-hitting or deep. The opposite really. When a client works with me, they know that I’m expecting them to dig deep. To look inward more than they ever have before. To me, that’s the true essence of writing — finding what we need to say by starting with ourselves. I push my clients to explore the depths of themselves because only then can they truly write honestly.
Mini Case Study
These examples are from Jessie, a client of mine who I took through the Writing Fiction to Heal method. She was kind enough to allow me to use her materials throughout the Writing Fiction to Heal Workshop but I wanted to share a few here so that you can see what collaborative storytelling coaching looks like in actual practice. [Note: My comments and questions are in the blue bubbles, the red text is her response to the comments or questions]
As you can see from my exchanges with Jessie, I’m prompting her to look deeper at her emotions around the topic of what she wants to write about as well as asking her to get clearer on certain thoughts or patterns. This is because if she’s to write a story that emulates her reality, she needs to understand the character’s backstory, their motivations, their fears, etc. And the best way to do that is by getting to know those parts of ourselves.
For this example, you’re seeing the evolution of a coach and client working together over several sessions. By this point, I’ve started to get to know Jessie and her “real” story. I’ve also gotten a chance to see how she wants to weave her reality into the novel. So I’m pushing her in this example to consider various perspective shifts and different avenues to explore as she moves forward in the exercises.
I am a compassionate coach, but I’m also a “no-bullshit” kind of coach. In this example, Jessie and I had been working together for several weeks on the writing fiction to heal process. And what you see in this example is very typical of a client who is tired of doing the internal work yet still wants to write a novel. This happens to everyone, including me. But you can’t half-ass it. This is why you see me pushing her a bit harder in this example to explore and go deeper. Because I know that she can and what she needs in these moments is to hear someone be both compassionate and realistic. This exchange is actually pretty typical for clients going through the writing fiction to heal process because, at this stage, they start to see that their story has merit. It has tendrils that reach from their reality into fiction. This can be scary! So we try to shut down the fact that what we wanted to happen is actually happening. That’s why having a co-collaborative coach can be so beneficial. To hold space for you when you get to that place of no return but someone to also nudge you along the path saying, “you can do this.”
Why work with a collaborative coach?
Early on in my writing career, I was part of several “critique” groups. There were usually 3–5 people in these groups and our main goal was to read each other’s work and give honest feedback and critique. I’ll be honest — I have a lot of “feelings” around critique groups these days, but there’s one thing I loved about them that is reflective in my coaching work. And that is the ability to ask deep and hard questions. I remember my group members getting so annoyed with me at first when I would ask a bajillion questions of them and their story. But over time, they came to understand that my questions actually made them think harder about their story and therefore, revise to make it better. I didn’t pull any punches then, either. But I was always kind and compassionate.
I’d like to think that working with a collaborative coach is very akin to what I did when I was in the critique groups. I didn’t write the story for them, but I helped them see what they were too close to see. I helped them think in a different way about their books and how they could be made better or more powerful. But all I did was ask the questions and hold space when they needed it.
And that’s what working with a collaborative coach is like. It’s that whisper in your ear to consider a new way. It’s a tickle on your neck asking you to look closer at that piece of dialogue. It’s a gentle hug reminding you that writing is damn hard work but that you have what it takes to keep going. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone in this creative endeavor.
Conclusion
I’ve worked with many writers over the years and I’m proud of each and every one of them. Regardless of if they take their novel all the way to publication or decide to shelve it — I’m sure to remind them of their achievement. Because it’s not easy to write a novel. It’s not easy to write a novel that cuts to the core of who you are or the experiences you’ve had. And it’s not easy to continue to chip away at a project that feels so intimate and vulnerable. Yet, these writers do it. And that’s precisely why I do what I do… to help them see that they’re doing it already.
Working with a collaborative coach isn’t for everyone and that’s okay! I’m the right fit for a lot of people though and I hope to inspire more writers for many more years to come because we deserve to have their stories in the world. You deserve to have your story told. Is it time to tell it?
Interested in working 1–1 in a collaborative coaching relationship? Check out what I offer and inquire before spots are booked up.
